Cumbria...sigh

Until a week ago I thought no landscape could compete with the highlands of Scotland or the West coast of Ireland in my affections: then I spent a week in the Lakes district. It absolutely captivated me. The landscape is stunningly beautiful and seeps into your soul.

We stayed in a gorgeous cottage that couldn't have been more perfect if we'd created it for ourselves out of thin air. I have always been a big fan of hotels where someone looks after your every need. I'm now a convertee to self catering - but only in perfect cottages in tiny villages surrounded by mountains and with a good pub within staggering distance!

Bliss...

Domestic Try hard

I'm not much of a domestic goddess - I'm more of a 'tries hard but could do better,' then I go off the idea completely until I walk through a cobweb or something hideous like that. I then attack with the Mister Sheen as though I was Arnie waving an Ouzie around. One thing I have perfected though is the BEST chocolate cake in the whole world. You will see from the photo that its never going to earn a spot in a cake shop window but it is DELICIOUS. It comes from an Aussie cook book and there is a little comment from the writer's next to the recipe that says 'this is the best chocolate cake ever.' How could I resist? I've made it several times over the past couple of years and it is the lightest, yummiest cake. It has vinegar in it which sounds bizarre to me and I've no idea what the vinegar does but it works!

getting organised

I think I used to think I was organised - now I'm not so sure. I've been trying to drum up September energy - you know the kind - new term, end of summer, winter on the way. It always feels like a good time to examine where I'm at and what my goals are. I'm a bit stumped at the planning stage. Do I want a big white board on the wall with daily lists? Do I want discreet notes in a beautiful secret notebook where I allow my deepest dreams to rest? Or do I simply need to read a hard core 'getting on with your life book'. Think I'm in the midst of a mid life crisis.



I can't decide if I'm over the kinds of self help that say 'follow your heart and the cash will follow' or if I need to stop being so cynical and leap from my comfort zone without a bunjee rope and have some faith. I've ordered Twyla Tharps book on creativity from Amazon to see if it can give me a kick start. I may go out and peruse white boards, or buy a fresh notebook...

Off on a break

On a blogging break for the next week due to work commitments - back soon!

On my mind

I Know we talk about this over on the novel racers website from time to time and it's playing on my mind at the moment. I work full time in a 'sensible' job and over the last year the idea has ben prying on me that I'd love to cut down my hours and write more. I'm wondering how I move from 'loving' the idea in a romantic sense to making it a practical life change that I can live with. I used to think that I had to prove myself by writing more (which I've done) and making some money from fiction (which I haven't done) - then and only then could I justify it.

I have no answers at present - just pondering!

Writerly Confidence

I think I learnt something about myself last night at my writers group meeting. I took along a short story I'm currently working on to read out and get feedback on. I was initially dented by the feedback and probably didn't take it on board last night but just sat and took down notes. The one feeling that remained resolute with me though, is that the story is a work in progress and I am going to keep working on it - taking on board some of the feedback.

What I learnt - is that I seem to have finally developed some writerly confidence - not 'shout from the rooftops' I'm fabulous sort of stuff but just a little hard nugget of something now resides within me that goes 'OK listen to what people have to say, use what you think resonates and trust yourself.' I think that's it. Trusting myself. I find that the hardest part. I'm currently rewriting my first novel and I find this much harder than getting the story down in the first place. I got worried last week that actually I don't have the skills to edit my own work and finally bring it to a satisfying conclusion. Then I worked out that it's just tough and it's a learning process and I have to hang in there.

It is so easy when you don't earn any money from your creative writing and you are not currently published to feel that it has no value in the world and I do question why I'm doing it. The simple answer is - I can't not do it. I don't know if I'm going to be one of those people to get some external recognition of my writing or if I will always be just slogging away. All I know is that I just want to keep getting better and keep writing.
It's that simple.

Chaos and the writer

A lovely thing has just happened to cheer my writing soul. I entered a poem in the poetry section of the writing comps at Winchester Writers Conference this year and I was highly commended. I just got a lovely certificate and comments from the judge in the post. The feedback has really given me a lift - it feels great not to be always writing in isolation but to actually feel that someone has read something (someone who doesn't know you and isn't related to you!!!) and enjoyed it.

My other writing thing at present is I was very determined to write my second novel with a level of organisation attached to it - almost project manage it I guess. The first one was written amidst chaos really - out of sequence etc. My vow has vanished as once again I'm writing chaotically and shall have to repair it all at the end. The good thing is I actually don't mind and have accepted for now that this is the way its meant to be. I'm writing and that is the best part of all!!!