tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-46543897877463044462024-03-06T01:00:46.777+00:00NoviceNovelistNoviceNovelisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08033841321311240951noreply@blogger.comBlogger114125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4654389787746304446.post-28048769883698492902010-05-13T15:27:00.002+00:002010-05-13T15:43:38.689+00:00ClosureI finished Radiotherapy this week. That is the end of my invasive, regular medical treatment. When I go for hospital appointments in the future I will have to pay for parking like most other people. I no longer have the 'special' cancer patient car pass. That is a good feeling. It has been an odd few days. A fresh wave of grief hit me and I felt pissed off and furious at having cancer. It is so indeterminate and raises so many questions - the most crucial being - has it really gone?<br /><br />I saw the oncologist today and had a good cry in his office. It was very cathartic - almost a rite of passage. It has been a tough nine months and I feel that I can finally let go a little. I don't need to keep it together - in fact - I needed to let go a lot. It takes huge amounts of emotional and physical energy to go through the shock of diagnosis, surgery, chemotherapy and radiotherapy. I wanted to keep it together and be positive but in crying today in front of the Onc - I also knew I had to let it go. I had to grieve for the loss of many things - not just the physical. The most important being mental and emotional peace. It is exhausting being consumed with anxiety about your own mortality. Before cancer I would have moments of being conscious of it but they would flit past. With cancer it has consumed me at times to the expense of all else.<br /><br />Now it's time to move past that. I'm here. As far as the oncologist can tell I'm cured. There is a moderate risk that it could come back but I am certainly not going to live my life with that as my consuming obsession. I am going to put some of that energy into living my life well and with gusto. Life is finite - for everyone - it was crappy to have that suddenly become concrete. Now it's time to get beyond that, to claim back some naivete around it. To have some peace of mind.NoviceNovelisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08033841321311240951noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4654389787746304446.post-33605309368247899522010-05-06T14:33:00.002+00:002010-05-06T14:47:14.827+00:00Baldness<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhV4wbtast6ckRRHZyfBsbdE6kE5jCP_DO9PBVWNwnUY-PRpbiDGX5-Z8Rd0GOKH1jBsIiDhpIg6V83uOoIV1S25x8woWDUhA6tA7gho1Y6S05EblgNzk4-pZ1TECY7u0traqm0zq8b2bE/s1600/DSC02031.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5468165649157881938" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhV4wbtast6ckRRHZyfBsbdE6kE5jCP_DO9PBVWNwnUY-PRpbiDGX5-Z8Rd0GOKH1jBsIiDhpIg6V83uOoIV1S25x8woWDUhA6tA7gho1Y6S05EblgNzk4-pZ1TECY7u0traqm0zq8b2bE/s320/DSC02031.JPG" border="0" /></a> This gorgeous peacock resided outside a converted barn I stayed in recently. He got me thinking about my hair - or lack of it. I used to have quite a healthy head of shoulder length hair and I've had long hair all my life. Chemo claimed it and left me completely bald. It started to clump together after the first session and come out in small handfuls. About 10 days after the first session it was lying on the pillow when I woke up. I decided to take control and enlisted my Mum to give me a crop which I quite liked! Then my husband finished me off with his razor. I stayed bald for 5months and wore a wig. I quite liked the wig to begin with but now I just want my own head of hair back.<br /><br />It is growing - slowly - and has gone from fluffy to a Mohican type style - tufts down the middle of my head which stick up and then various other sticky out bits over the rest of my head. I'm waiting for the day when I look in the mirror and can go 'yeah today's the day.' Then I'm going to ditch the wig and go free. It is a nondescript colour at present so quite excited to see what I'll end up with. I also lost my eyebrows and eyelashes but eyebrows have come back very 1980s - dark and bushy! Eyelashes are giving it a good shot but rather feathery at present - at least they are coming back. I looked at a photo the other day taken in the middle of chemo it gave me a real shock to see myself so hairless. Of course the hairs on my legs are rampaging! I look forward to feeling like this peacock - out there strutting my feathers!NoviceNovelisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08033841321311240951noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4654389787746304446.post-54339685282555500142010-05-05T08:29:00.002+00:002010-05-05T08:36:33.872+00:00Fairy God Mother WantedRadiotherapy is wearing me out. I want it to be over NOW. I thought I was doing pretty good with it but now I am so weary I can't remember what it feels like not to be knackered. I have a bright red rash on my chest that barely cools down even with an ice pack on it. I have random, fleeting aches throughout my body which force my imagination into overdrive. Don't think there are any body parts that I haven't self diagnosed with cancer in the past 24hrs. Every twinge is something sinister. I hate this bit of having cancer more than anything else. If I was a squillionaire I would buy every diagnostic bit of machinery on the market and hop into one every time I felt a twinge. Anything for peace of mind. When my body gets weary and my mind follows - that's it - I need one of them to be working well to keep me going. I try and hang onto the thought that very soon I will not be having invasive treatment and each day takes me further away from cancer. It's just a hard slog at the moment. I'd like a fairy godmother with a wand to fix it today.NoviceNovelisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08033841321311240951noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4654389787746304446.post-46675298753343854172010-04-30T14:17:00.001+00:002010-05-05T08:28:42.343+00:00Amuse-Bouche<div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJbhIDuTo2QG1hrKKiHrp8sqe3zVqrQ94Gpp8KkzHKXizdFY_Mc30EciWla7UHdT2SNbRwNaexiAARGaAxfr-ydPx59AlIjArjAv-kaH2SKYwzsIVvRk95Z3A9LMYVQ3LVNRMkRBiMmiQ/s1600/DSC02001.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5465936002859707458" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 240px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJbhIDuTo2QG1hrKKiHrp8sqe3zVqrQ94Gpp8KkzHKXizdFY_Mc30EciWla7UHdT2SNbRwNaexiAARGaAxfr-ydPx59AlIjArjAv-kaH2SKYwzsIVvRk95Z3A9LMYVQ3LVNRMkRBiMmiQ/s320/DSC02001.JPG" border="0" /></a> </div>
<br /><div>If you read my post from yesterday you'd know it was a BAD day. I'm happy to say that today is a GREAT day. My favourite saying in the whole world is 'this too shall come to pass,' it never fails to give me hope on a bad day. I had lunch with two wonderful friends yesterday who cheered me up so much. Today there was no queue for the hospital car park and no queue to have my treatment - amazing! A great way to finish the week. I now only have 6 radiotherapy treatments to go - hooray!!!!!!!! AND it is a long weekend. </div>
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<br /><div>I also learnt something new that has been bugging me. I don't speak French and had dinner at a great restaurant recently where a tiny, delicious morsel was presented in between courses and the waitress said something that sounded like 'Fe fe be.' Totally baffled I ate it, loved it and wondered what it was. The mystery was solved by a friend who does speak French - it was the 'amuse-bouche' the delicacy to 'amuse the mouth.' I love that!</div>
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<br /><div>I took this picture on a recent weekend away - I love the idea of open doors - they hold so much promise. </div>NoviceNovelisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08033841321311240951noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4654389787746304446.post-44158177908896017362010-04-29T09:18:00.003+00:002010-04-29T09:42:31.185+00:00Changing Breaths & CaffeineI wasn't going to blog today: I wasn't ever going to blog again. I couldn't see why I would discuss my health in a public space. Then I remembered why writing is both a torment and a pleasure. It may be narcissistic to write openly about yourself or it may be therapeutic or it may be part of a inane need to simply write - about anything: everything, the mundane, the devastating. I recently did a short course on relaxation and the one thing I really took away from it was the power of something called a 'changing breath.' It is when you take 3 deep breaths with the aim of moving from your current emotional state to a new one; it was all about letting go. Writing also fulfils that need for me.<br /><br />I was feeling pissed off and angry earlier about having cancer: about having to go for yet another bout of treatment, to sit in another waiting room, to have my 'real' life on hold whilst I live this shadow existence but I <em>knew</em> that if I blogged about I could use that as my 'changing breath.' I knew it would make me feel better, lift the darkness and restore me to feeling pretty good again. I could have put all this in my journal so maybe it does come back to narcissism or maybe it is a hope that someone will read it and comment to simply say they 'heard' me.<br /><br />The thing I know about myself is that I can be restored by a simple gesture, a word, an acknowledgement. When I feel in this mood I rarely pick up the phone and ring anyone close to say what I'm saying here - I will probably recall it and share it at some point but I go into a kind of emotional lock down. Not always but today I have. I shed a healthy amount of tears with my husband earlier as I chopped the fruit salad for breakfast, reached for my peppermint tea (whilst fantasising about coffee) and put a dollop of natural soy yogurt on my fruit. I feel better for the tears. I also know that I am actually just knackered and want a day free of medical intervention. I also know that I appreciate the medical intervention for saving my life. I know a lot about the whole experience of cancer.<br /><br />What I really want is to stay in my PJs, watch frivolous TV and order pizza for lunch! What I will do is get ready, drive to the hospital, have my treatment. I don't think I'm feeling sorry for myself - just think I'm a bit weary. I think what I will also do is go and buy a great latte en route. The changing breaths I will do after this, the blogging, and the caffeine will all help restore me. I love my life, I love living: it's just really hard work somedays having treatment for cancer. I'm not this conscious about it everyday - if I was I think I'd have gone insane somewhere over the past nine months. Maybe it is because I can see the end of treatment is approaching and maybe I'm scared of that as well. Somewhere inside me a tiny voice tells me that if I'm actively being treated it won't come back.<br /><br />When I finish here I am going to ring a friend and meet her for lunch afterwards. A few deep breaths, some writing, tears, caffeine and talking to a friend - that'll do the trick.NoviceNovelisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08033841321311240951noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4654389787746304446.post-42475235502603927352010-04-23T15:10:00.002+00:002010-04-23T15:46:06.204+00:00Cancer...where to beginHaving a cancer diagnosis was a terrifying and immobilising experience for me as I imagine it is for many people. The amount of new information I have had to digest and then reinterpret at a later date once my hysterics had settled, is enough to write a compact medical book. I feel just as entitled as any doctor or nurse to use terms that were alien to me but are now part of my vocabulary.<br /><br />I don't know where to begin with this 'story' so I'm just going to let it tumble it out naturally in it's own style. I will unpick it in a non-linear, ad-hoc manner in the hope that I can make some sense of it and lay parts of it to rest. Nine months past diagnosis I realise clearly that cancer will always be part of me - not necessarily in a literal physical sense - it has simply become another intrinsic aspect of what makes me who I am.<br /><br />This week I started radiotherapy. This means that I need to drive to a hospital one hour away 5 days a week for three weeks, lay semi naked on a cold metal bed whilst scary, sci-fi like machines hum and click over me dispensing radiation. I'm so glad my husband and I went to the information evening beforehand and had a tour of the department. It was the first time in my life that I ever paid attention whilst someone talked physics!<br /><br />It is surreal to sit in a waiting room with strangers, knowing that cancer links us. It doesn't discriminate - the room is filled with a cross section of the population. Some people come alone for treatment, other's bring back-up in the form of a spouse, friend, sibling, adult child. Yesterday I watched a youngish woman tenderly adjust the crumpled clothing of her husband who had just come out of a treatment room. He was frail and her love for him overwhelmed me and reminded me how lucky I am to have had love and care to help me through this. This week my husband came to the hospital with me twice, a friend came once and I went alone twice. Part of my plan to start reclaiming some independence is to do things on my own. This is important to me.<br /><br />I have spent so many hours/days having hospital treatment in the past nine months that I see this environment as 'normal' - I long for it to feel alien again, because that means I have been cured and released from this protective custody. As a writer I realise that by writing about my experience I am reinventing myself in a story: I am creating my cancer survival narrative.<br /><br />Survival is one of my new favourite words.NoviceNovelisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08033841321311240951noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4654389787746304446.post-2967278129851628472010-04-14T16:35:00.003+00:002010-04-14T16:53:29.870+00:00I'm back and it's Spring!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7loIMnsuZIlDAI6qsgP9PJSlbatpqgYqBJdsHC6Up4i9X-g5GpJqEx3N-FISZzlYtprp_M59waEI2jfgaljPXaa8tNrYfyuxd6jClNlLP2Q30IzQNKZTXBBY0-KFdK1v5_UKTq_sjJP4/s1600/DSC01926.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5460037168652139634" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7loIMnsuZIlDAI6qsgP9PJSlbatpqgYqBJdsHC6Up4i9X-g5GpJqEx3N-FISZzlYtprp_M59waEI2jfgaljPXaa8tNrYfyuxd6jClNlLP2Q30IzQNKZTXBBY0-KFdK1v5_UKTq_sjJP4/s320/DSC01926.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><div></div><br /><br /><div>I was going to title this posting Baby Steps but that is not actually how I'm feeling at all. It's been a long time since I've been here and a lot has happened. Being treated for breast cancer has been <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">exhausting</span>, invasive, relentless...<em>and</em> a great relief that I can be treated - with a prognosis that is hopefully going to see me still blogging in my 90s! So baby steps would <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">suggest</span> that I am feeling tentative and hesitant about being back but I'm feeling feisty, enthusiastic and eager to get going again with writing and living. The past 8 months have been lived in a very protective cocoon and I'm ready to shed a few layers of that protective skin and taste the delights of the wider world again. I have a plan for my writing and I'm going to blog more about that and I also have a plan for my recovery from my BC. The two are <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">entwined</span>! It's good to be back!</div>NoviceNovelisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08033841321311240951noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4654389787746304446.post-22943892503783767512009-10-06T14:26:00.003+00:002009-10-06T14:36:24.474+00:00Next Part of the JourneyHere I am again - not moved much to put pen to paper or any surface at present - my life is really like a mini invasion and I am the occupied territory! Thank God for medical science and for living in the 21st century but...having to be the one on the receiving end of some of this fantastic science is alarming! I began chemotherapy last week - even writing that is just absolutely bizarre. Other people have chemo - not me!<br /><br />In the past when people would mention that they knew someone having chemo I would just nod and think 'that sounds bloody awful' and then just get on with whatever I was doing: the conversation soon forgotten. Now my own life revolves around medical appointments, nurses coming to my home to give me injections and trying to figure out what I should be eating to get fit and well as soon as is possible. I used to have a lot of privacy now I am an open door. My Mum is living with us for a few months to help out and friends/family call and visit regularly. All the support is appreciated and much needed! BUT I yearn for a day alone. I'm hoping to have one soon once I've sorted out how the chemo is going to treat me during the various parts of the cycle. At the moment it's low white blood cell time so I'm trying to stay in, eat well and not breathe in too many germs!<br /><br />The best part of all this - yes there is a good part - my cancer was caught and removed before it could spread to anywhere else in my body. The oncologist said - the 'chemo is my insurance policy and my cure.' I love the sound of those words!NoviceNovelisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08033841321311240951noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4654389787746304446.post-10889279765484725782009-08-24T11:36:00.002+00:002009-08-24T11:46:48.072+00:00Writing in spite off...I really don't know how I feel about blogging about having cancer - pause here to scream LOUDLY at even writing the word - but here I am. I don't even know where to begin. I've had the surgery - don't feel like going into details and tomorrow go back to get results and find out what happens next. So today is my last day of simply being someone recovering from surgery as I'm pretty sure there is going to be more to come. I will jump and yell if they say 'great - all done, go home and come back and see us in the future.' But I don't think that will happen. I do feel optimistic and I also feel a black hole follows me around and if I'm not careful it'll gleefully swallow me up. <br /><br />Major achievement for today - I unloaded the dishwasher<br />Biggest irritation of today - I can't get in the car and drive anywhere...at all<br /><br />Oh I feel my words are very tame here compared to the whirlwind that has been my life for the past 5 weeks but maybe I'll get braver and bolder or maybe I'll just keep it all in my head and my spotty notebook. Tiny steps and LOTS of good champagne.NoviceNovelisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08033841321311240951noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4654389787746304446.post-49082203491983938552009-08-04T18:49:00.002+00:002009-08-04T18:57:37.823+00:00Surreal TimesWell unfortunately my biopsy came back positive for breast cancer and tomorrow I begin a journey with surgery. After the shock came the fear and now there is the 'lets get on with it.' I haven't been in hospital since I was 10years old and I'm trying to pack. There are books - lots of books, photos, music, earplugs, food and of course pyjamas that match. I don't think I've owned a pair of these for many years.<br /><br />In the corner of the room sits a pile of essentials that I may need later. One of the items is a high impact, shock absorbant sports bra. How ironic - 3 days before surgery for breast cancer I am out buying a sports bra - apparently it will 'hold my new bits' together and help them 'settle.'<br /><br />Hmmmm. Still trying to process that one.NoviceNovelisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08033841321311240951noreply@blogger.com23tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4654389787746304446.post-88336070769660384692009-07-20T13:38:00.003+00:002009-07-20T13:53:42.982+00:00Long time no Blog<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCVPa3NRdIDb-CTNHZX_6_f70A6IfFqMhYXyVR93FeSCtmWkL5MBG-MraW26MdLbO1NYWJnu6m_Yx3nDXKtrv5s_nKvf_ln1cW4QYkfrCy0ROQTf6sHPm5DpIc3kIgZjKXgElI9CTHv_A/s1600-h/DSC01844.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5360536663095713602" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCVPa3NRdIDb-CTNHZX_6_f70A6IfFqMhYXyVR93FeSCtmWkL5MBG-MraW26MdLbO1NYWJnu6m_Yx3nDXKtrv5s_nKvf_ln1cW4QYkfrCy0ROQTf6sHPm5DpIc3kIgZjKXgElI9CTHv_A/s320/DSC01844.JPG" border="0" /></a> Feels a bit strange to be back here after such a long break but here I am. I'm not sure if I'm going to be back blogging regularly or just popping in from time to time. My reason for being here today is purely selfish. A couple of weeks ago I found an anomaly on my body that led me straight to my GP and my life is now changing as a result of that moment. I've been having tests and doing a lot of waiting. It is the waiting that will probably drive me completely insane. I'm not telling family/friends yet as I want to have clear facts on what I'm dealing with and I get those on Thursday - hence the need to blog to just get it out there, to release a bit of stress that is now mounting up in my body.<br /><br />It's nearly impossible not be completely self obsessed when faced with the uncontrollable when your body just does something without any warning. Maybe it will just be a blip...<br />The garden is keeping me from totally vanishing into my own head which is not a fun place to be at present. These glorious lilies are filling the patio with a beautiful scent and the flowers on them are so spectacular.<br /><br />I had a biopsy this morning - the last of the tests - and when I woke up this morning my wonderful, very unscientific husband said to me 'What time is your autopsy today?' Ah yes that really filled me with hope! A little premature I think!NoviceNovelisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08033841321311240951noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4654389787746304446.post-9829140316590715692009-02-18T10:14:00.002+00:002009-02-18T10:28:50.763+00:00Weddings<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjb0kYMB3AVNQrT_F5DaW-yxpUIuhXXUZuOl10VM2E4Nxtl-YMorJV99SjtmAtbmFAgLH6CI9jU-u20EBpZMleIKSApRV8Lth9tmXVrNKw9RefII84AV2-mubOxaRHqcV-cRLe5Ly4lHZw/s1600-h/cnv00096.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5304082213280888258" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 240px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjb0kYMB3AVNQrT_F5DaW-yxpUIuhXXUZuOl10VM2E4Nxtl-YMorJV99SjtmAtbmFAgLH6CI9jU-u20EBpZMleIKSApRV8Lth9tmXVrNKw9RefII84AV2-mubOxaRHqcV-cRLe5Ly4lHZw/s320/cnv00096.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>Today is our fourth wedding anniversary - hence the piccie of our yummy wedding cake. </div><br /><div>The wedding day itself is still fresh in my mind and hopefully always will be. We had a real journey to make it to saying 'I do.' We started our wedding planning with booking a room in a Scottish castle and arranging for two staff to be witnesses - Oh yes - we were eloping!!!! And very excited about it too. But we made the fatal mistake of telling family and friends that's what we were planning. That's when it came unstuck. Shock, Horror - people actually wanted to share the day with us!!!! </div><div></div><br /><div>We were a bit naive in hindsight thinking we could just mosy off to the highlands of Scotland and enjoy a low key but very romantic wedding...on our own. Plan B - get married in the local registry office and have a nice wedding lunch in the pub across the road from it. We would have about 10 people attending. So we booked all of that and then...Shock Horror...more people wanted to come and were willing to fly half way across the world to do so!!!!<br /></div><div>Plan C - We cancelled all of the above and booked a beautiful, intimate country hotel and had a wonderful day celebrating with 25 of our nearest and dearest. Husband and I both agreed it was a glorious way to enter into married life. I hate to think where plan D would have led us to...perhaps a cathedral?????</div><div></div><br /><div>We were actually grateful in the end that our families recoiled at the eloping idea. My youngest brother gets married in May and he is having the blow out wedding he and his bride to be dearly want. There is a wedding party that runs into double figures and a guest list that grows daily and they both couldn't be happier. I would't mind doing it all over again but this time I'd go straight for Plan C.</div>NoviceNovelisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08033841321311240951noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4654389787746304446.post-27627512407559359242009-02-11T14:59:00.005+00:002009-02-11T15:15:55.619+00:00Definition of optimism<p align="left"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnLsRYPYPjk4IrjyuEpgBGQltJKSK-ji6o9e-3CGHieB_KKBz0TSvCAJeiqxYSW-u66AXuOCjoNWITeZzV0hsyxin22zG5wnDHvTYkacJn3ZWgUEKbOky_GufhojUooY1mMpdkZJ5-pyQ/s1600-h/DSC01437.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5301558321873118306" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 372px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnLsRYPYPjk4IrjyuEpgBGQltJKSK-ji6o9e-3CGHieB_KKBz0TSvCAJeiqxYSW-u66AXuOCjoNWITeZzV0hsyxin22zG5wnDHvTYkacJn3ZWgUEKbOky_GufhojUooY1mMpdkZJ5-pyQ/s320/DSC01437.JPG" border="0" /></a></p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQbBjcxRHjfdwyX9hJwfcrdXq5chYI4zWvUn7QbFB698iHTTCT1OjgJifcn4sSzJrIFyU05NuweCEnI7hDiWKCHbEJ1_BHjxJ8HLqwQi9lGOHuXrcPPHVcM7LWFk0LZUnQIqARdAPFSKY/s1600-h/DSC01424.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5301554864209463538" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 240px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQbBjcxRHjfdwyX9hJwfcrdXq5chYI4zWvUn7QbFB698iHTTCT1OjgJifcn4sSzJrIFyU05NuweCEnI7hDiWKCHbEJ1_BHjxJ8HLqwQi9lGOHuXrcPPHVcM7LWFk0LZUnQIqARdAPFSKY/s320/DSC01424.JPG" border="0" /></a> It is a crazy time weather wise and impossible not to be obsessed with it. In the past 8 days our garden has been covered in snow and flooded (see the pictorial evidence!!)whilst my family in Australia have been surviving the heatwave nestled next to the air con 24hours a day.<br /><br />I'm guessing our planned gardening session won't be taking place this weekend. We were hoping to build a summer house at the end of the garden in March but I think it would either have to be a treehouse or erected on stilts. My husband has nicknamed it the 'writer's block' in anticipation of my creative bouts down there (well at least that's what I hope he means!!!!)<br /><br />Hmmm... if this weather mayhem keeps up it may be another season of writing in an armchair from the comfort of the house. I do long for my 'writers block' though...I have even planned for it to have a small verandah which I shall retire too with a refreshing gin and tonic after a long, hard day at the office...NoviceNovelisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08033841321311240951noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4654389787746304446.post-90060035478255912832009-02-02T14:22:00.002+00:002009-02-02T14:28:11.575+00:00Snowy start to FebWell this is a strange sight - it's been snowing now continuously for 5 hours!!! I've never seen that happen in the South of England in the time I've lived here. My cousin arrived from Sydney last week and she left behind a heat wave - to say she is mildly surprised and bemused is an understatement!!!! My husband was meant to fly to Amsterdam this morning but he and his suitcase are still here. It'll be take 2 tomorrow!!!! Off for more coffee - need the warmth and caffeine - my early morning duty today was to stay glued to to the TV whilst checking online and listening to the local radio station for weather/travel news - whilst husband debated his chances of making it to the airport. I'm ready for a nap now!!!!!NoviceNovelisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08033841321311240951noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4654389787746304446.post-57723215782833465842009-01-16T11:46:00.003+00:002009-01-16T12:20:20.611+00:00Happy News from a writing friend<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTyTvYQKg_4BHVpWzKrL8kB7CyEj4n7j3PBLu2aKgDB8E0cCdqigSjr-HhFVgc0VJqT8OCLNSDPw6lRUR9lWXKdldHCnR6NT9R0G-7uj2x_FQ9i86Ol7JLDS3ayHuesPOtYJR6P4IG4es/s1600-h/jacarandaflat.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5291858973004196674" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 226px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTyTvYQKg_4BHVpWzKrL8kB7CyEj4n7j3PBLu2aKgDB8E0cCdqigSjr-HhFVgc0VJqT8OCLNSDPw6lRUR9lWXKdldHCnR6NT9R0G-7uj2x_FQ9i86Ol7JLDS3ayHuesPOtYJR6P4IG4es/s320/jacarandaflat.jpg" border="0" /></a> Firstly how did it get to be the 16th of Jan already? My writing time has reached zero already with the demands of work. This isn't meant to happen so soon. Being a stationary junkie I some how feel part of the problem is that my diary isn't big enough to write everything in and by the time all my work/domestic notes are in there - there is no space to write the all important - WRITING TIME bit. I'm off to Staples soon to resolve that and feel that will help. I really hope it does!!!!! <div></div><div> </div><div>On a wonderful note my dear friend and fellow writer Marlish Glorie has her first novel coming out in Australia on May 2nd - <em>The Bookshop on Jacaranda Street.</em> This is the cover pic. Marlish is a an extraordinary writer and I know this is going to be loved by anyone who picks it up. </div>NoviceNovelisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08033841321311240951noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4654389787746304446.post-29166049608293928312009-01-05T17:14:00.003+00:002009-01-05T17:46:20.400+00:00The New Year - Hooray!!!!It's time to put away the great stash of pressies I was fortunate enough to get over Xmas and my birthday. Yes I'm a Yuletide baby!!!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFhaOr2Shjx-bZZbHTOJ5SPgOOE6clt6wE1gfzvYzIpQJvzHS1CKx6lLRU4y_sWkoa7PHjMn1sIr1sosWXS7KD8lnZJFAfsZ1A32jmR4EueU0lTrb8HrPdNOgR9nNJyCZLmmxkWMJ5InU/s1600-h/DSC01363.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5287863075981488738" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFhaOr2Shjx-bZZbHTOJ5SPgOOE6clt6wE1gfzvYzIpQJvzHS1CKx6lLRU4y_sWkoa7PHjMn1sIr1sosWXS7KD8lnZJFAfsZ1A32jmR4EueU0lTrb8HrPdNOgR9nNJyCZLmmxkWMJ5InU/s320/DSC01363.JPG" border="0" /></a> One of my absolute favourites is this bottle of bubbly and delicious choccies I received from one of my favourite people in the whole world. I adore champagne, am a complete chocoholic BUT it came in the most glorious box that was like opening a secret. I love boxes - they hold a fascination and always have. I like what they hold and what they have the potential to hold. I just love the blue satin in this one. I think it may have to be the box that holds the treasures of 2009 - whatever they may be!<br /><br />It's a great feeling to see 2009 arrive. I know I shouldn't wish my life away - as my grandmother was fond of saying - but I am happy to see 09. We woke up to snow today and freezing temperatures. I was talking to my Mum in Oz as I was watching the snow fall and she was wondering whether or not to crank up her air conditioning as the thermostat soared higher. To say I was jealous is the understatement of the new year thus far!!!!<br /><br />Blogging drifted into the background of my life in the latter months of 08 and I missed it. One of my new year resolutions is to enjoy it again and make the time. That is probably my overarching resoloution - making time - for people/activities and having time to reflect and be quiet. I found 08 to be a busy year in all areas of my life and I really missed just being silent. My hubby and I did some beautiful walks over the South Downs at Xmas and it was so peaceful and quiet. It really allowed me to catch up with myself. That's a good way to start the year. I don't want myself to be running off again in 09 - I'm going to keep me on a tight reign!!!!<br /><br />My next resolution is to sit down and ponder what my writing goals for the year are - without them - I won't get anything written. That's not how I want to finish 2009!!!! Not at all. But first I am going to make some dinner (nothing with turkey or anything that comes wrapped in festive colours!!!!!). A nice simple supper of fish and salad - then the moment I have been looking forward to all day. Kirsty and Phil's Relocation Relocation special of looking at how to survive the property down turn. The big question in our house is whether or not to completely rip out our hideous kitchen and start again OR move and let someone else deal with it - we have agreed that this is the year it must be tackled - roll on 2009!!!!!NoviceNovelisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08033841321311240951noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4654389787746304446.post-18818924217252739682008-10-01T13:35:00.004+00:002008-10-01T13:42:13.061+00:00Cumbria...sigh<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMgbTrf7H_YROclIYF_TVfKfSL5UdXgWdDRRNjm9Pmg-b9UPQxbLapSmogSk5U9qweJ-U8Xay8Lx9GHD932jqx25HNl65cnJZLjymAYVzg3b1YOgystIk-X04grc-LurfW4Q8JYltsfG8/s1600-h/DSC01266.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5252179035466872706" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMgbTrf7H_YROclIYF_TVfKfSL5UdXgWdDRRNjm9Pmg-b9UPQxbLapSmogSk5U9qweJ-U8Xay8Lx9GHD932jqx25HNl65cnJZLjymAYVzg3b1YOgystIk-X04grc-LurfW4Q8JYltsfG8/s320/DSC01266.JPG" border="0" /></a> Until a week ago I thought no landscape could compete with the highlands of Scotland or the West coast of Ireland in my affections: then I spent a week in the Lakes district. It absolutely captivated me. The landscape is stunningly beautiful and seeps into your soul.<br /><br />We stayed in a gorgeous cottage that couldn't have been more perfect if we'd created it for ourselves out of thin air. I have always been a big fan of hotels where someone looks after your every need. I'm now a convertee to self catering - but only in perfect cottages in tiny villages surrounded by mountains and with a good pub within staggering distance!<br /><br />Bliss...NoviceNovelisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08033841321311240951noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4654389787746304446.post-58348030741786112482008-09-17T10:16:00.002+00:002008-09-17T10:25:08.508+00:00Domestic Try hard<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxap0tsMSsM6QTQTtYKTdmRgF9MTYQWdpTZMVdTwfZw69KL36gD0xz6VOAA8MRqlhTyMcLwbvWFrn5Yne5za524KZOeJV8ZQXx60O-7RQ4uqnDgYhn8Ha1PwtO3X2Qop3bFHpZR9UvTac/s1600-h/DSC01202.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5246934154331326562" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxap0tsMSsM6QTQTtYKTdmRgF9MTYQWdpTZMVdTwfZw69KL36gD0xz6VOAA8MRqlhTyMcLwbvWFrn5Yne5za524KZOeJV8ZQXx60O-7RQ4uqnDgYhn8Ha1PwtO3X2Qop3bFHpZR9UvTac/s320/DSC01202.JPG" border="0" /></a> I'm not much of a domestic goddess - I'm more of a 'tries hard but could do better,' then I go off the idea completely until I walk through a cobweb or something hideous like that. I then attack with the Mister Sheen as though I was Arnie waving an Ouzie around. One thing I have perfected though is the BEST chocolate cake in the whole world. You will see from the photo that its never going to earn a spot in a cake shop window but it is DELICIOUS. It comes from an Aussie cook book and there is a little comment from the writer's next to the recipe that says 'this is the best chocolate cake ever.' How could I resist? I've made it several times over the past couple of years and it is the lightest, yummiest cake. It has vinegar in it which sounds bizarre to me and I've no idea what the vinegar does but it works!<br /><div></div>NoviceNovelisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08033841321311240951noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4654389787746304446.post-13380034058806162632008-09-12T09:27:00.004+00:002008-09-12T09:44:32.825+00:00getting organisedI think I used <em>to think</em> I was organised - now I'm not so sure. I've been trying to drum up September energy - you know the kind - new term, end of summer, winter on the way. It always feels like a good time to examine where I'm at and what my goals are. I'm a bit stumped at the planning stage. Do I want a big white board on the wall with daily lists? Do I want discreet notes in a beautiful secret notebook where I allow my deepest dreams to rest? Or do I simply need to read a hard core 'getting on with your life book'. Think I'm in the midst of a mid life crisis.<br /><br /><br /><br />I can't decide if I'm over the kinds of self help that say 'follow your heart and the cash will follow' <em>or</em> if I need to stop being so cynical and leap from my comfort zone without a bunjee rope and have some faith. I've ordered Twyla Tharps book on creativity from Amazon to see if it can give me a kick start. I may go out and peruse white boards, or buy a fresh notebook...NoviceNovelisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08033841321311240951noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4654389787746304446.post-91200774644807290162008-09-05T09:50:00.000+00:002008-09-05T09:51:05.576+00:00Off on a breakOn a blogging break for the next week due to work commitments - back soon!NoviceNovelisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08033841321311240951noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4654389787746304446.post-24518715443035460642008-09-02T09:56:00.004+00:002008-09-02T10:01:47.894+00:00On my mindI Know we talk about this over on the novel racers website from time to time and it's playing on my mind at the moment. I work full time in a 'sensible' job and over the last year the idea has ben prying on me that I'd love to cut down my hours and write more. I'm wondering how I move from 'loving' the idea in a romantic sense to making it a practical life change that I can live with. I used to think that I had to prove myself by writing more (which I've done) and making some money from fiction (which I haven't done) - then and only then could I justify it.<br /><br />I have no answers at present - just pondering!NoviceNovelisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08033841321311240951noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4654389787746304446.post-38951171193448901022008-08-29T08:16:00.003+00:002008-08-29T08:29:27.906+00:00Writerly ConfidenceI think I learnt something about myself last night at my writers group meeting. I took along a short story I'm currently working on to read out and get feedback on. I was initially dented by the feedback and probably didn't take it on board last night but just sat and took down notes. The one feeling that remained resolute with me though, is that the story is a work in progress and I am going to keep working on it - taking on board some of the feedback.<br /><br />What I learnt - is that I seem to have finally developed some writerly confidence - not 'shout from the rooftops' I'm fabulous sort of stuff but just a little hard nugget of something now resides within me that goes 'OK listen to what people have to say, use what you think resonates and trust yourself.' I think that's it. Trusting myself. I find that the hardest part. I'm currently rewriting my first novel and I find this much harder than getting the story down in the first place. I got worried last week that actually I don't have the skills to edit my own work and finally bring it to a satisfying conclusion. Then I worked out that it's just tough and it's a learning process and I have to hang in there.<br /><br />It is so easy when you don't earn any money from your creative writing and you are not currently published to feel that it has no value in the world and I do question why I'm doing it. The simple answer is - I can't not do it. I don't know if I'm going to be one of those people to get some external recognition of my writing or if I will always be just slogging away. All I know is that I just want to keep getting better and keep writing.<br />It's that simple.NoviceNovelisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08033841321311240951noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4654389787746304446.post-58190921414681212672008-08-27T10:32:00.002+00:002008-08-27T10:38:18.105+00:00Chaos and the writerA lovely thing has just happened to cheer my writing soul. I entered a poem in the poetry section of the writing comps at Winchester Writers Conference this year and I was highly commended. I just got a lovely certificate and comments from the judge in the post. The feedback has really given me a lift - it feels great not to be always writing in isolation but to actually feel that someone has read something (someone who doesn't know you and isn't related to you!!!) and enjoyed it.<br /><br />My other writing thing at present is I was very determined to write my second novel with a level of organisation attached to it - almost project manage it I guess. The first one was written amidst chaos really - out of sequence etc. My vow has vanished as once again I'm writing chaotically and shall have to repair it all at the end. The good thing is I actually don't mind and have accepted for now that this is the way its meant to be. I'm writing and that is the best part of all!!!NoviceNovelisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08033841321311240951noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4654389787746304446.post-15572649376067113612008-08-15T14:05:00.003+00:002008-08-15T14:11:48.975+00:00It's the little things...<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6pwD-Hr5E9gnustWJ5BxlTZYH_bBeW6sxhNFnSfgzIrpzP9jV3LQFUt_yVkAfKA3LuZLP6PgKtU87ljyQwFylQvRJ6e2xk3GagE4bY8Fxzasxe98IEGbqLA1eRbIcNGYz2l13M1aKzss/s1600-h/nutrigrain-th.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5234745488522610706" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6pwD-Hr5E9gnustWJ5BxlTZYH_bBeW6sxhNFnSfgzIrpzP9jV3LQFUt_yVkAfKA3LuZLP6PgKtU87ljyQwFylQvRJ6e2xk3GagE4bY8Fxzasxe98IEGbqLA1eRbIcNGYz2l13M1aKzss/s320/nutrigrain-th.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijI8PA-4c54pQDuprgmSvT_FSu3ZEyiktn18OL_2EEJq61ForM4hZ01xBsrA-YwxQ1FjRXsw1Nu-OPK3RJSii3yikZqnV33hqjve2E4FEQHZIzoH2zxjxlb9XMgM8CG56ERjYEC9n92DU/s1600-h/apricot-th.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5234745487848726418" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijI8PA-4c54pQDuprgmSvT_FSu3ZEyiktn18OL_2EEJq61ForM4hZ01xBsrA-YwxQ1FjRXsw1Nu-OPK3RJSii3yikZqnV33hqjve2E4FEQHZIzoH2zxjxlb9XMgM8CG56ERjYEC9n92DU/s320/apricot-th.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgz1mEUDtPFhiIvbAeKNRY3lzPWkZgsmlY2lg0UQcrY6qKnOJdzXf2Znc01KGNls1FdOd0rin51H5dsCthepUvmZ0bzNhAMBO2IV2zZ-J-RGGbK_krOZrfxy9GiALhqLfPuO46vWgGWN_w/s1600-h/ChickeninabiskitSM.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5234745493277896098" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgz1mEUDtPFhiIvbAeKNRY3lzPWkZgsmlY2lg0UQcrY6qKnOJdzXf2Znc01KGNls1FdOd0rin51H5dsCthepUvmZ0bzNhAMBO2IV2zZ-J-RGGbK_krOZrfxy9GiALhqLfPuO46vWgGWN_w/s320/ChickeninabiskitSM.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>Every time I come back from Oz apart from missing my family & friends I miss certain foods. I try and jam my suitcase with the priority items like Snack Chocolate bars (each piece of the bar has a different filling like pineapple, turkish delight etc). My fav missed foods are Nutrigrain breakfast cereal and chicken in a biscuit crackers (not wholesome at all but strangely compelling!!!). I also used to love making apricot chicken but I could never find apricot nectar/juice to make it with. I'm only back 5 days and I had to give in to temptation and place an online order with the Australian shop in Covent garden. I am counting the days until my goodies arrive! </div>NoviceNovelisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08033841321311240951noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4654389787746304446.post-76086116419549015402008-08-14T14:52:00.003+00:002008-08-14T15:14:06.519+00:00Back from Hols!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJgsrOwEyBj1i_viCW_7hEm_F3-MRmRPnV7qsvcOunl-kf5Hg1SBBa7G26UgN7ePuK4WQq22Y-yZpLnHjhFopQC3_MRN4sBd5eXq4ket98ET5wJZb_jFGSIqo4RT6NRoMRkvPwkkx8ZTE/s1600-h/DSC01192.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5234390855152169634" style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJgsrOwEyBj1i_viCW_7hEm_F3-MRmRPnV7qsvcOunl-kf5Hg1SBBa7G26UgN7ePuK4WQq22Y-yZpLnHjhFopQC3_MRN4sBd5eXq4ket98ET5wJZb_jFGSIqo4RT6NRoMRkvPwkkx8ZTE/s320/DSC01192.JPG" border="0" /></a> Kangaroo at sunset. Guess where I've been????<br /><div></div><br /><div>I'm just back from 3 weeks in Australia catching up with family and friends. It was fantastic but dam cold. I had a couple of unexpected bonuses at the end of the trip - one was catching up with a dear friend from Western Australia who I haven't seen for 7 years. We worked that one out over several glasses of champagne! </div><div align="left"> </div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div>Then - the holy grail of travel happened for me - I got UPGRADED to BUSINESS CLASS for the 20 hours trip home. Anyone who has done long haul in economy knows an upgrade is the ULTIMATE. Had to put that in caps to show how delirious I was with joy - thought I was going to pass out at the check in desk when she gave me my boarding card with the letters BUSINESS CLASS stamped in royal blue across the top. Yes I am shallow but this is an experience worth being shallow for. I had a flat bed seat with a an inbuilt back massager - JOY, champagne on tap and an empty seat next to me just completed the heady experiecne for me. The food was great with several choices for each course. Oh I could have just kept flying around the world in my priviledged little bubble!!! </div><div> </div><div> </div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div>Still it is always fab to be home and three weeks away from my lovely hubby was pushing it for me. Now its back to work and I find that writers fear has struck while I was busy having fun. I haven't written now for 5 weeks and I have two paths to chose from. Novel number one sits behind me in a box - finished to 2nd draft, printed out and waiting for me to read it afresh. I am a bit terrified and haven't even taken the lid off the box yet. I'm scared for several reasons - worried that it will be crap and I won't know how to fix it, worried that it is not the novel I would write if I was starting it from scratch today. My writers voice has changed in the past three years and I'm just not sure that is how I write anymore but worried that I won't be able to rewrite it the way I would want to. </div><div><br /></div><div>The second path - is leave novel one for now and start novel 2 which has been burning into me for about 10months. If I do that though I worry that I won't really have gone the distance - all I will have done is show that I can produce 90,000 words but not really finish a novel. I think I would have that hanging over my head like an anvil if I start novel 2. Well I think I've answered my own question. The box needs to be opened and I need to get on with finishing novel 1. That was easy! </div><br /><div></div><br /><div></div>NoviceNovelisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08033841321311240951noreply@blogger.com4