I think I learnt something about myself last night at my writers group meeting. I took along a short story I'm currently working on to read out and get feedback on. I was initially dented by the feedback and probably didn't take it on board last night but just sat and took down notes. The one feeling that remained resolute with me though, is that the story is a work in progress and I am going to keep working on it - taking on board some of the feedback.
What I learnt - is that I seem to have finally developed some writerly confidence - not 'shout from the rooftops' I'm fabulous sort of stuff but just a little hard nugget of something now resides within me that goes 'OK listen to what people have to say, use what you think resonates and trust yourself.' I think that's it. Trusting myself. I find that the hardest part. I'm currently rewriting my first novel and I find this much harder than getting the story down in the first place. I got worried last week that actually I don't have the skills to edit my own work and finally bring it to a satisfying conclusion. Then I worked out that it's just tough and it's a learning process and I have to hang in there.
It is so easy when you don't earn any money from your creative writing and you are not currently published to feel that it has no value in the world and I do question why I'm doing it. The simple answer is - I can't not do it. I don't know if I'm going to be one of those people to get some external recognition of my writing or if I will always be just slogging away. All I know is that I just want to keep getting better and keep writing.
It's that simple.
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6 comments:
This post really resonates with me NN. It might seem like such a small thing to someone not writing, but it's a huge step forward. Well done.
But unless we become fabulously successful, we won't earn much even if we do get published. The upside of this is that there's isn't a huge financial gulf between published writers and yet to be published.
Not sure how much sense this makes but it cheers me up!
But unless we become fabulously successful, we won't earn much even if we do get published. The upside of this is that there's isn't a huge financial gulf between published writers and yet to be published.
Not sure how much sense this makes but it cheers me up!
I see from your personal notes that you have been/are a journalist and playwright - so you can write.
I, like you, worry about my abilities but, again like you, have written in a professional capacity all my life, so when crises of confidence occur, I just tell myself I can write. It may not seem so at this particular moment, but I can. As you say, learn to trust yourself.
Hi there
I just found my way here, and thought I'd say Hi. Your post sums up things perfectly. I have questioned why I write so many times. But, like you, I can't not write. Hang in there!
Hi JJ, Fiona, Dot & annie - thanks for your words here - JJ you obviously very clearly know where I'm coming from here.
Fiona - that has cheered me up - I think !!!!!!!!!
Dot - it's funny though how I seperate the genres I write in - I wouldn't dream of writing a non fiction piece unless I was being paid for it and yet the gulf seems so huge between non fiction & fiction for me - well it did - I am trying just to see it all as writing and build up the reserves of confidence!
Hi Annie, The writing bug is a curse isn't it - thanks for stopping by!
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