Monday, July 20, 2009

Long time no Blog

Feels a bit strange to be back here after such a long break but here I am. I'm not sure if I'm going to be back blogging regularly or just popping in from time to time. My reason for being here today is purely selfish. A couple of weeks ago I found an anomaly on my body that led me straight to my GP and my life is now changing as a result of that moment. I've been having tests and doing a lot of waiting. It is the waiting that will probably drive me completely insane. I'm not telling family/friends yet as I want to have clear facts on what I'm dealing with and I get those on Thursday - hence the need to blog to just get it out there, to release a bit of stress that is now mounting up in my body.

It's nearly impossible not be completely self obsessed when faced with the uncontrollable when your body just does something without any warning. Maybe it will just be a blip...
The garden is keeping me from totally vanishing into my own head which is not a fun place to be at present. These glorious lilies are filling the patio with a beautiful scent and the flowers on them are so spectacular.

I had a biopsy this morning - the last of the tests - and when I woke up this morning my wonderful, very unscientific husband said to me 'What time is your autopsy today?' Ah yes that really filled me with hope! A little premature I think!

5 comments:

Beth said...

I've not commented here much before but I just wanted to send you all my best... it sounds scary. I hope the news is good. Thinking of you x

CL Taylor said...

Oh what a horrible thing to have to go through - I can't begin to imagine how unbearable the weight must be. Think positive if you can (one of my relatives has had 2 biopsies on different areas of her body over the years and they both came back clear). Sending you 'all clear' vibes. x

Rachel Green said...

Here's hoping whatever-it-is is benign.

NoviceNovelist said...

Thanks for your kind thoughts and words of encouragement B, Calistro & Leatherdykeuk. For once in my life I wish I didn't have such an active imagination! Trying to stay sane and live in the moment! x

Jenny Beattie said...

I've had lots of this with family members recently: keep heart NN and try to stay sane.

Big hugs to you both and good luck.