NoviceNovelist

Next Part of the Journey

noreply@blogger.com (NoviceNovelist) — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 14:26:00 +0000

Here I am again - not moved much to put pen to paper or any surface at present - my life is really like a mini invasion and I am the occupied territory! Thank God for medical science and for living in the 21st century but...having to be the one on the receiving end of some of this fantastic science is alarming! I began chemotherapy last week - even writing that is just absolutely bizarre. Other people have chemo - not me!

In the past when people would mention that they knew someone having chemo I would just nod and think 'that sounds bloody awful' and then just get on with whatever I was doing: the conversation soon forgotten. Now my own life revolves around medical appointments, nurses coming to my home to give me injections and trying to figure out what I should be eating to get fit and well as soon as is possible. I used to have a lot of privacy now I am an open door. My Mum is living with us for a few months to help out and friends/family call and visit regularly. All the support is appreciated and much needed! BUT I yearn for a day alone. I'm hoping to have one soon once I've sorted out how the chemo is going to treat me during the various parts of the cycle. At the moment it's low white blood cell time so I'm trying to stay in, eat well and not breathe in too many germs!

The best part of all this - yes there is a good part - my cancer was caught and removed before it could spread to anywhere else in my body. The oncologist said - the 'chemo is my insurance policy and my cure.' I love the sound of those words!

Writing in spite off...

noreply@blogger.com (NoviceNovelist) — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 11:36:00 +0000

I really don't know how I feel about blogging about having cancer - pause here to scream LOUDLY at even writing the word - but here I am. I don't even know where to begin. I've had the surgery - don't feel like going into details and tomorrow go back to get results and find out what happens next. So today is my last day of simply being someone recovering from surgery as I'm pretty sure there is going to be more to come. I will jump and yell if they say 'great - all done, go home and come back and see us in the future.' But I don't think that will happen. I do feel optimistic and I also feel a black hole follows me around and if I'm not careful it'll gleefully swallow me up.

Major achievement for today - I unloaded the dishwasher
Biggest irritation of today - I can't get in the car and drive anywhere...at all

Oh I feel my words are very tame here compared to the whirlwind that has been my life for the past 5 weeks but maybe I'll get braver and bolder or maybe I'll just keep it all in my head and my spotty notebook. Tiny steps and LOTS of good champagne.

Surreal Times

noreply@blogger.com (NoviceNovelist) — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 18:49:00 +0000

Well unfortunately my biopsy came back positive for breast cancer and tomorrow I begin a journey with surgery. After the shock came the fear and now there is the 'lets get on with it.' I haven't been in hospital since I was 10years old and I'm trying to pack. There are books - lots of books, photos, music, earplugs, food and of course pyjamas that match. I don't think I've owned a pair of these for many years.

In the corner of the room sits a pile of essentials that I may need later. One of the items is a high impact, shock absorbant sports bra. How ironic - 3 days before surgery for breast cancer I am out buying a sports bra - apparently it will 'hold my new bits' together and help them 'settle.'

Hmmmm. Still trying to process that one.

Long time no Blog

noreply@blogger.com (NoviceNovelist) — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 13:38:00 +0000

Feels a bit strange to be back here after such a long break but here I am. I'm not sure if I'm going to be back blogging regularly or just popping in from time to time. My reason for being here today is purely selfish. A couple of weeks ago I found an anomaly on my body that led me straight to my GP and my life is now changing as a result of that moment. I've been having tests and doing a lot of waiting. It is the waiting that will probably drive me completely insane. I'm not telling family/friends yet as I want to have clear facts on what I'm dealing with and I get those on Thursday - hence the need to blog to just get it out there, to release a bit of stress that is now mounting up in my body.

It's nearly impossible not be completely self obsessed when faced with the uncontrollable when your body just does something without any warning. Maybe it will just be a blip...
The garden is keeping me from totally vanishing into my own head which is not a fun place to be at present. These glorious lilies are filling the patio with a beautiful scent and the flowers on them are so spectacular.

I had a biopsy this morning - the last of the tests - and when I woke up this morning my wonderful, very unscientific husband said to me 'What time is your autopsy today?' Ah yes that really filled me with hope! A little premature I think!

Weddings

noreply@blogger.com (NoviceNovelist) — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 10:14:00 +0000

Today is our fourth wedding anniversary - hence the piccie of our yummy wedding cake.

The wedding day itself is still fresh in my mind and hopefully always will be. We had a real journey to make it to saying 'I do.' We started our wedding planning with booking a room in a Scottish castle and arranging for two staff to be witnesses - Oh yes - we were eloping!!!! And very excited about it too. But we made the fatal mistake of telling family and friends that's what we were planning. That's when it came unstuck. Shock, Horror - people actually wanted to share the day with us!!!!

We were a bit naive in hindsight thinking we could just mosy off to the highlands of Scotland and enjoy a low key but very romantic wedding...on our own. Plan B - get married in the local registry office and have a nice wedding lunch in the pub across the road from it. We would have about 10 people attending. So we booked all of that and then...Shock Horror...more people wanted to come and were willing to fly half way across the world to do so!!!!

Plan C - We cancelled all of the above and booked a beautiful, intimate country hotel and had a wonderful day celebrating with 25 of our nearest and dearest. Husband and I both agreed it was a glorious way to enter into married life. I hate to think where plan D would have led us to...perhaps a cathedral?????

We were actually grateful in the end that our families recoiled at the eloping idea. My youngest brother gets married in May and he is having the blow out wedding he and his bride to be dearly want. There is a wedding party that runs into double figures and a guest list that grows daily and they both couldn't be happier. I would't mind doing it all over again but this time I'd go straight for Plan C.

Definition of optimism

noreply@blogger.com (NoviceNovelist) — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 14:59:00 +0000

It is a crazy time weather wise and impossible not to be obsessed with it. In the past 8 days our garden has been covered in snow and flooded (see the pictorial evidence!!)whilst my family in Australia have been surviving the heatwave nestled next to the air con 24hours a day.

I'm guessing our planned gardening session won't be taking place this weekend. We were hoping to build a summer house at the end of the garden in March but I think it would either have to be a treehouse or erected on stilts. My husband has nicknamed it the 'writer's block' in anticipation of my creative bouts down there (well at least that's what I hope he means!!!!)

Hmmm... if this weather mayhem keeps up it may be another season of writing in an armchair from the comfort of the house. I do long for my 'writers block' though...I have even planned for it to have a small verandah which I shall retire too with a refreshing gin and tonic after a long, hard day at the office...

Snowy start to Feb

noreply@blogger.com (NoviceNovelist) — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 14:22:00 +0000

Well this is a strange sight - it's been snowing now continuously for 5 hours!!! I've never seen that happen in the South of England in the time I've lived here. My cousin arrived from Sydney last week and she left behind a heat wave - to say she is mildly surprised and bemused is an understatement!!!! My husband was meant to fly to Amsterdam this morning but he and his suitcase are still here. It'll be take 2 tomorrow!!!! Off for more coffee - need the warmth and caffeine - my early morning duty today was to stay glued to to the TV whilst checking online and listening to the local radio station for weather/travel news - whilst husband debated his chances of making it to the airport. I'm ready for a nap now!!!!!

Happy News from a writing friend

noreply@blogger.com (NoviceNovelist) — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 11:46:00 +0000

Firstly how did it get to be the 16th of Jan already? My writing time has reached zero already with the demands of work. This isn't meant to happen so soon. Being a stationary junkie I some how feel part of the problem is that my diary isn't big enough to write everything in and by the time all my work/domestic notes are in there - there is no space to write the all important - WRITING TIME bit. I'm off to Staples soon to resolve that and feel that will help. I really hope it does!!!!!

On a wonderful note my dear friend and fellow writer Marlish Glorie has her first novel coming out in Australia on May 2nd - The Bookshop on Jacaranda Street. This is the cover pic. Marlish is a an extraordinary writer and I know this is going to be loved by anyone who picks it up.

The New Year - Hooray!!!!

noreply@blogger.com (NoviceNovelist) — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 17:14:00 +0000

It's time to put away the great stash of pressies I was fortunate enough to get over Xmas and my birthday. Yes I'm a Yuletide baby!!! One of my absolute favourites is this bottle of bubbly and delicious choccies I received from one of my favourite people in the whole world. I adore champagne, am a complete chocoholic BUT it came in the most glorious box that was like opening a secret. I love boxes - they hold a fascination and always have. I like what they hold and what they have the potential to hold. I just love the blue satin in this one. I think it may have to be the box that holds the treasures of 2009 - whatever they may be!

It's a great feeling to see 2009 arrive. I know I shouldn't wish my life away - as my grandmother was fond of saying - but I am happy to see 09. We woke up to snow today and freezing temperatures. I was talking to my Mum in Oz as I was watching the snow fall and she was wondering whether or not to crank up her air conditioning as the thermostat soared higher. To say I was jealous is the understatement of the new year thus far!!!!

Blogging drifted into the background of my life in the latter months of 08 and I missed it. One of my new year resolutions is to enjoy it again and make the time. That is probably my overarching resoloution - making time - for people/activities and having time to reflect and be quiet. I found 08 to be a busy year in all areas of my life and I really missed just being silent. My hubby and I did some beautiful walks over the South Downs at Xmas and it was so peaceful and quiet. It really allowed me to catch up with myself. That's a good way to start the year. I don't want myself to be running off again in 09 - I'm going to keep me on a tight reign!!!!

My next resolution is to sit down and ponder what my writing goals for the year are - without them - I won't get anything written. That's not how I want to finish 2009!!!! Not at all. But first I am going to make some dinner (nothing with turkey or anything that comes wrapped in festive colours!!!!!). A nice simple supper of fish and salad - then the moment I have been looking forward to all day. Kirsty and Phil's Relocation Relocation special of looking at how to survive the property down turn. The big question in our house is whether or not to completely rip out our hideous kitchen and start again OR move and let someone else deal with it - we have agreed that this is the year it must be tackled - roll on 2009!!!!!

Cumbria...sigh

noreply@blogger.com (NoviceNovelist) — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 13:35:00 +0000

Until a week ago I thought no landscape could compete with the highlands of Scotland or the West coast of Ireland in my affections: then I spent a week in the Lakes district. It absolutely captivated me. The landscape is stunningly beautiful and seeps into your soul.

We stayed in a gorgeous cottage that couldn't have been more perfect if we'd created it for ourselves out of thin air. I have always been a big fan of hotels where someone looks after your every need. I'm now a convertee to self catering - but only in perfect cottages in tiny villages surrounded by mountains and with a good pub within staggering distance!

Bliss...

Domestic Try hard

noreply@blogger.com (NoviceNovelist) — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 10:16:00 +0000

I'm not much of a domestic goddess - I'm more of a 'tries hard but could do better,' then I go off the idea completely until I walk through a cobweb or something hideous like that. I then attack with the Mister Sheen as though I was Arnie waving an Ouzie around. One thing I have perfected though is the BEST chocolate cake in the whole world. You will see from the photo that its never going to earn a spot in a cake shop window but it is DELICIOUS. It comes from an Aussie cook book and there is a little comment from the writer's next to the recipe that says 'this is the best chocolate cake ever.' How could I resist? I've made it several times over the past couple of years and it is the lightest, yummiest cake. It has vinegar in it which sounds bizarre to me and I've no idea what the vinegar does but it works!

getting organised

noreply@blogger.com (NoviceNovelist) — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 09:27:00 +0000

I think I used to think I was organised - now I'm not so sure. I've been trying to drum up September energy - you know the kind - new term, end of summer, winter on the way. It always feels like a good time to examine where I'm at and what my goals are. I'm a bit stumped at the planning stage. Do I want a big white board on the wall with daily lists? Do I want discreet notes in a beautiful secret notebook where I allow my deepest dreams to rest? Or do I simply need to read a hard core 'getting on with your life book'. Think I'm in the midst of a mid life crisis.

I can't decide if I'm over the kinds of self help that say 'follow your heart and the cash will follow' or if I need to stop being so cynical and leap from my comfort zone without a bunjee rope and have some faith. I've ordered Twyla Tharps book on creativity from Amazon to see if it can give me a kick start. I may go out and peruse white boards, or buy a fresh notebook...

Off on a break

noreply@blogger.com (NoviceNovelist) — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 09:50:00 +0000

On a blogging break for the next week due to work commitments - back soon!

On my mind

noreply@blogger.com (NoviceNovelist) — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 09:56:00 +0000

I Know we talk about this over on the novel racers website from time to time and it's playing on my mind at the moment. I work full time in a 'sensible' job and over the last year the idea has ben prying on me that I'd love to cut down my hours and write more. I'm wondering how I move from 'loving' the idea in a romantic sense to making it a practical life change that I can live with. I used to think that I had to prove myself by writing more (which I've done) and making some money from fiction (which I haven't done) - then and only then could I justify it.

I have no answers at present - just pondering!

Writerly Confidence

noreply@blogger.com (NoviceNovelist) — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 08:16:00 +0000

I think I learnt something about myself last night at my writers group meeting. I took along a short story I'm currently working on to read out and get feedback on. I was initially dented by the feedback and probably didn't take it on board last night but just sat and took down notes. The one feeling that remained resolute with me though, is that the story is a work in progress and I am going to keep working on it - taking on board some of the feedback.

What I learnt - is that I seem to have finally developed some writerly confidence - not 'shout from the rooftops' I'm fabulous sort of stuff but just a little hard nugget of something now resides within me that goes 'OK listen to what people have to say, use what you think resonates and trust yourself.' I think that's it. Trusting myself. I find that the hardest part. I'm currently rewriting my first novel and I find this much harder than getting the story down in the first place. I got worried last week that actually I don't have the skills to edit my own work and finally bring it to a satisfying conclusion. Then I worked out that it's just tough and it's a learning process and I have to hang in there.

It is so easy when you don't earn any money from your creative writing and you are not currently published to feel that it has no value in the world and I do question why I'm doing it. The simple answer is - I can't not do it. I don't know if I'm going to be one of those people to get some external recognition of my writing or if I will always be just slogging away. All I know is that I just want to keep getting better and keep writing.
It's that simple.

Chaos and the writer

noreply@blogger.com (NoviceNovelist) — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 10:32:00 +0000

A lovely thing has just happened to cheer my writing soul. I entered a poem in the poetry section of the writing comps at Winchester Writers Conference this year and I was highly commended. I just got a lovely certificate and comments from the judge in the post. The feedback has really given me a lift - it feels great not to be always writing in isolation but to actually feel that someone has read something (someone who doesn't know you and isn't related to you!!!) and enjoyed it.

My other writing thing at present is I was very determined to write my second novel with a level of organisation attached to it - almost project manage it I guess. The first one was written amidst chaos really - out of sequence etc. My vow has vanished as once again I'm writing chaotically and shall have to repair it all at the end. The good thing is I actually don't mind and have accepted for now that this is the way its meant to be. I'm writing and that is the best part of all!!!

It's the little things...

noreply@blogger.com (NoviceNovelist) — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 14:05:00 +0000

Every time I come back from Oz apart from missing my family & friends I miss certain foods. I try and jam my suitcase with the priority items like Snack Chocolate bars (each piece of the bar has a different filling like pineapple, turkish delight etc). My fav missed foods are Nutrigrain breakfast cereal and chicken in a biscuit crackers (not wholesome at all but strangely compelling!!!). I also used to love making apricot chicken but I could never find apricot nectar/juice to make it with. I'm only back 5 days and I had to give in to temptation and place an online order with the Australian shop in Covent garden. I am counting the days until my goodies arrive!

Back from Hols!

noreply@blogger.com (NoviceNovelist) — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 14:52:00 +0000

Kangaroo at sunset. Guess where I've been????

I'm just back from 3 weeks in Australia catching up with family and friends. It was fantastic but dam cold. I had a couple of unexpected bonuses at the end of the trip - one was catching up with a dear friend from Western Australia who I haven't seen for 7 years. We worked that one out over several glasses of champagne!

Then - the holy grail of travel happened for me - I got UPGRADED to BUSINESS CLASS for the 20 hours trip home. Anyone who has done long haul in economy knows an upgrade is the ULTIMATE. Had to put that in caps to show how delirious I was with joy - thought I was going to pass out at the check in desk when she gave me my boarding card with the letters BUSINESS CLASS stamped in royal blue across the top. Yes I am shallow but this is an experience worth being shallow for. I had a flat bed seat with a an inbuilt back massager - JOY, champagne on tap and an empty seat next to me just completed the heady experiecne for me. The food was great with several choices for each course. Oh I could have just kept flying around the world in my priviledged little bubble!!!

Still it is always fab to be home and three weeks away from my lovely hubby was pushing it for me. Now its back to work and I find that writers fear has struck while I was busy having fun. I haven't written now for 5 weeks and I have two paths to chose from. Novel number one sits behind me in a box - finished to 2nd draft, printed out and waiting for me to read it afresh. I am a bit terrified and haven't even taken the lid off the box yet. I'm scared for several reasons - worried that it will be crap and I won't know how to fix it, worried that it is not the novel I would write if I was starting it from scratch today. My writers voice has changed in the past three years and I'm just not sure that is how I write anymore but worried that I won't be able to rewrite it the way I would want to.

The second path - is leave novel one for now and start novel 2 which has been burning into me for about 10months. If I do that though I worry that I won't really have gone the distance - all I will have done is show that I can produce 90,000 words but not really finish a novel. I think I would have that hanging over my head like an anvil if I start novel 2. Well I think I've answered my own question. The box needs to be opened and I need to get on with finishing novel 1. That was easy!

On my summer holidays!

noreply@blogger.com (NoviceNovelist) — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 11:25:00 +0000

I'm off on holdiay until mid August - enjoy the summer!!!!!!

New Writing Gizmo

noreply@blogger.com (NoviceNovelist) — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 13:53:00 +0000

I'm very excited by the delivery of my new writing Gizmo - it came a couple of weeks ago but I've only just had time to use it in the past week. There are some pics so you can see it from several angles. It's an AlphaSmart Neo - great name isn't it? Sounds like something out of The Matrix! It's actually just a word processor - sounds very retro but it is perfect for what I need. I go to Australia at least once - usually twice a year and each time I lug my laptop and get very precious and worried about its safety! All I really want it for is to write because I only check emails maybe once a week and can use family/friends computers or pop into the local library.

I read about this on a few websites and a couple of writers magazines and it sparked my interest. It was £179 so a lot cheaper than a laptop as well. It stores everything to the hard drive automatically and runs off double A batteries - I think there are 3 in there and they are meant to last for 600hours and from all the reviews I've read - they do! It can hold the equivalent of a thick novel and you can have 6 files. You just plug it into your USB on your computer and hit send and it sends your files straight to your computer. It is a full size keyboard and you see up to 6 lines of type on the screen.

I'm a bit in love with it! It's really light as well. I don't write into a notebook as I like to type, think and write so its perfect for my needs. I am actually looking forward to 22hours in an economy seat when I fly to Oz next week - and that's a first!!!! All that time to write on this little device - very exciting!!!!! I shall stop gushing and do some writing!

Happy Anniversary Tulips

noreply@blogger.com (NoviceNovelist) — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 09:42:00 +0000

Today is an anniversary day - I've lived in the UK for 9 years. It's difficult to believe and it's impossible not to be reflective. This time nine years ago I'd been here for 3 hours and was deliriously happy, jet lagged, shell shocked, sad and excited. The first person I saw when I walked through customs was the man I would eventually marry. It was 6am and I'd been travelling for 24 hours from Sydney - and there he was with a huge bunch of flowers and a big, happy smile.

Back in Sydney my departure had been full of tears. I didn't think I'd be gone so long but life changes, no matter how radical they are, soon settle in to just being your life. It took me about 3 years before I stopped reflecting on a weekly basis about where I lived and how my life had changed so dramatically.

My husband gave me beautiful tulips to mark the occasion and I have them in vases all over the house but this is the special bunch in my study. Today I am going to reflect on how wonderful it is to be loved, how sad it is to be so far away from others that I love and how lucky I am to be enjoying a life full of adventures, lovely relationships and passion.

On Blog leave

noreply@blogger.com (NoviceNovelist) — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 15:24:00 +0000

Blogging Break is lasting a little longer than I planned. Work is hectic. Back soon and I have a new writing toy to blog about when I return!!!!!! Hopefully I'll have a chance to try it out very soon!!

On Hiatus

noreply@blogger.com (NoviceNovelist) — Wed, 28 May 2008 12:17:00 +0000

Having a little blogging break due to work...work and more work!!!!

Back soon.

Happy Again...

noreply@blogger.com (NoviceNovelist) — Mon, 19 May 2008 16:17:00 +0000

Ah my dark little mood of sat has lifted - hallelujia!!!!
Things making me cheerful today.
The sun is shinning...
We have yummy vegie spring rolls and other asian goodies for dinner...
Working day is over...
I am going to bed early tonight with a good book...
About to write for a sneaky and snatched 45mins...

Ah yes - life is good

Grumpy Today!!!

noreply@blogger.com (NoviceNovelist) — Sat, 17 May 2008 14:57:00 +0000

I feel guilty about being a bit grumpy today - there is no real reason other than a crappy week at work and a few little life hiccups to top it off - but nothing worthy of being a bit grumpy. You know when you have a knot in your stomach? Mine is sitting like a dark shadow that refuses to budge. I tried to be good and went to bed early last night, didn't drink any alcohol and then got up and went to a body combat class at the gym this morning. I snarled, sweated, punched and kicked my way through an hour and really gave it a 100%. Then I had a lovely spontaneous chat to a woman in the dressing room afterward, came home, had a good lunch and lay on the sunroom sofa and read the paper for an hour. So what's going on?

I think it may be writing. I always get a bit grim when writing feels out of control. At the moment my day job is consuming me and I'm resenting that. I feel like the intensity of it has taken me by surprise and I haven't had a chance to get all the little boxes of my life realigned to suit this turn of events. I don't mind my day job as a rule but it has suddenly got more demanding and I've had to go to endless meetings and my writing hermit is feeling a bit out of kilter. I think that's what it is.

I have the urge to spring clean my study but I'm not sure if this is a displacement activity or a genuine attempt to get my 'house' in order and then do a plan of action for the next few weeks. I hate feeling unsettled like this - maybe that's a better term for it. I'm not really grumpy just unsettled. I'll try and write for a bit and then tidy the study. Then I'll have a glass of wine and a piece of choccy as a reward. Feeling better already!